Naruto Uzumaki Tales of a Bardic Ninja
by Draton
Summary: Something of an inspiration. Naruto raised outside of konoha by several different people, how will he leave his mark on the world? Strong!Naruto-ish, NaruTayu. Enjoy and review!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: All right, yes I'm starting a new fic so sue me now. I can't help it the Plot Bunny Girls have been raping my mind. -insert perverted giggle here- Anyways, I'll be updating my other 2 fics within the next couple weeks. I just really needed to get this idea out there. It mostly spawned from I wanted to write a NaruTayu, and spiraled from there. Yes it is kind of a a Powerful!Naruto, but it'll be well earned power... as for what the hell that means, read on and I hope you enjoy. I might quickly add the chapter names are song names that may or may not be relevant to the chapter content. also I threw the gennin age from 12 to 15.

**Prologue – Woo Hoo**

-11 years ago, Night of the Attempted Hyuuga kidnapping-

The supposed Kumo ambassador, (Renai Tousen was his name, not that anyone really cares,) was running for dear life. He had failed, miserably, in obtaining Hinata Hyuuga by a small boy no less! He glanced at the bundle under his arms, the blond child looked to sleeping peacefully. The bruise from being kicked in the back of the head already gone. The kidnapper smirked to himself as he finally managed to get outside the village walls. Hey may not have gotten a Hyuuga, but the Kyuubi jinchuuriki, and Minato Namikaze's son no less. Of that fact he had little doubt, the resemblance was to close for the young child to be anything but his son. Well, unless Konoha had been dabbling in cloning, and these days who knows?

Several days later our ill fated ambassador met with a rather grim end. More specifically the end of a rather large zanbato, this one in particular was called Kubikiri Houcho. Zabuza Momochi sighed in irritation. Here he was minding his own business, practicing throwing his sword, and then this retard comes out of nowhere and gets stuck like a turkey. The masked nuke-nin looked and the new corpse and frowned as he spied a kumo headband. "Shit, knowing my luck now Kumo is going to be after me as well." Not two months ago the attempted coup on the Mizukage failed. Epically. It had been, in no uncertain terms, a clusterfuck of epic proportions. But hey, no sense crying over spilled milk, even if the 'milk' is the blood of your comrades in arms. Nope, not bitter _at all. _Zabuza sighed and picked up his blade and was about to hightail it out of there when he noticed a small blond child whimpering. It appeared he;d been nicked by the sword. Zabuza swore internally and checked the wound. To his surprise it was already healing, without a scar no less. '_Advanced bloodline perhaps... Maybe even a jinchuuriki... Either way I bet the kid is worth taking along, for awhile at least._ He nudged the child oh so gently with his foot. "Brat get up."

Naruto, if you hadn't figured it out yet, looked up at the person calling to him. "Ugh... Hey No Brows... where am I?"

Zabuza's eye twitched ever so much. "Brat... Call me that again and I hit you with my sword on purpose."

Naruto, always one to push his boundaries decided, in a rare fit of judgment, not to push this guy. " OK... Are you going to make me go back?"

"Back? Back where?"

"Konoha... I don't like it there." Naruto tried, and failed to keep the sorrow from his voice. 4 years of mental torment flooding across his features.

The so-called Demon sighed and softened his gaze, "No, I ain't taking you there. Your gonna come with me. I figure I might train you."

The blond perked at that, "You mean you'll teach me things? Yatta!" He cried out happily.

Zabuza just grinned.

....

-4 years Later Naruto age 7 years 10 months-

Naruto glanced between the two people that had become family to him in his short life. "Haku... Brother... Keep him safe will ya? You know what he's like.." The blond said, capturing the person he saw as a brother in a hug.

The older feminine boy smiled down at his adoptive little brother. "That I will Naruto..." The two glanced over at a slightly put out Zabuza, his hand resting on his hip.

"Keep up that talk and I might not give you your going away present brat." Naruto's eyes widened and he let out a whoop for joy and pounced on the nuke-nin. Zabuza smiled under his mask. He wouldn't admit it out loud but he thought of the boys as his children and would miss the little blond ball of energy.

"What ya get me huh huhh huuuuh?""

Zabuza produced a bundle of scrolls, laughing as the child's eyes lit up. The boy did love to learn after all. "These 2 scrolls contain all the water and mist jutsu I know, and this one has instructions on how to keep up your sword work until your ready for your own style. Also it has the address for the man who made my sword. In a few years time if he's still alive try and track him down. It'll be worth it I'm sure."

The small group turned family stopped in a moment of silence. "I'm gonna miss you guys." The young blond said, breaking the silence.

"We're gonna miss you to Naruto." Zabuza said quietly, "Now go on don't keep him waiting, and do make his life as torturous as possible. He can teach you a lot, both about your family and Jutsu. But that doesn't mean you can't make his life hell to." All three grinned at that as Naruto gathered his small amount of possessions in a back back and started to head off. He turned back and waved.

"I'll see you guys again some time... Believe it." He smiled and ran off to where he was to meet his new caretaker. Zabuza and Haku gave one long look at Naruto running off before disappearing in a swirl of mist.

Naruto sighed as he searched around the hot springs before spying what would become an all to familiar sight, a long white pony tail sticking out of a bush that was giggling in a suspicious manner. The blond boy sighed and gave the man a swift kick in the rear.

Jiraiya of the Sannin did not appreciate his research being interrupted. He turned on the boy a scowl on his painted face. "Brat..." He growled out.

Naruto, having dealt with Zabuza for so long, was less then intimidated. "You practically stole me from my family on the premise of teaching me things... So make with the teaching."

The toad sage groaned. Maybe near black mailing that Nuke-nin was a mistake after all...

...

-2 and a half years later, Naruto Age 10 years 7 months-

Jiraiya sighed and took another swig of sake. Who knew parting from the little blond brat would be so hard? As infuriating as the kid had been he'd filled a spot in the Sage's life he hadn't realized was empty. He mused though the kid was in plenty good hands, after all if you couldn't trust your teammate who could you trust? His thoughts flickered to Orochimaru and he groaned, bad example. But Tsunade wasn't as bad as the Snake. Or so he hoped at least. He grinned to himself, Tsunade would have to be wary... The kid absorbed information like a sponge no matter what it was. And despite how enamored with the young child she had become he doubted she was truly ready for the appropriately named Maelstrom. He shrugged doff his worries, after all the kid had signed the Toad contract and was able to contact the Sannin through them if he needed help of any kind.

He sighed again and ordered another round. He'd still miss the kid. Reminded him so much of the boy's father, and mother for that matter. Crazy red headed woman that she was.

...

Naruto smiled as he followed Tsunade and Shizune out of the village. Oh he would miss his Ero-Sannin, but who was he to pass up the chance to learn new things? The young boy may not have had a total grasp on his personality but he knew he loved t learn and experience new things. He flashed a toothy grin, Tsunade had promised to teach him the finer parts of chakra control and even medical chakra. He was so excited! Sure he himself had little to no use for it but if an ally ever needed healing he would like being ready.

Ahead of him Shizune and Tsunade were discussing where to go next and what to do. "I say we hit Tanzuka, it's nearby and-"

"And is chock full of gambling halls... You think we should be corrupting a small child Tsunade-sama?"

The Slug Princess scoffed. "He traveled with Jiraiya for over 2 years. The boy is most assuredly corrupted." They were interrupted by a young laugh. They both turned to look at Naruto who was wearing a mischievous grin.

""I have to agree with Tsunade-Baa-Chan there Nee-chan. I am a very good poker player amongst other things." He laughed at the expression on Tsunade's face. It was torn between irritation and happiness over having gotten a hold of a an excellent good luck charm.

Shizune palmed her face in exasperation. The next few years were going to be taxing on the young medic.

...

-2 and a half years later, Naruto age 12 years 2 months-

"C'mon Baa-Chan don't be like this. You know I need to strike it out on my own sometime and this time just feels right for me." Naruto said trying to calm down the blond woman. His mother figure was currently smothering him between her ample cleavage almost frightened to let go.

"I know... I just worry." She said finally releasing him and allowing his lungs to gather oxygen once more. She had taught him the best she could in the time they had, and while he was no prodigy in the field he was pretty talented. In a few years he would probably be as talented as Shizune. She smiled down at her surrogate son. She closed her eyes briefly remembering her younger brother and lover. Reaching around her neck and took off the necklace that hung around her neck and put in on him. Both Shizune and Naruto were wide eyed at that.

"Tsunade-sama are you sure..." Shizune trailed off hesitantly.

The Slug Princess smirked, "If there's a soul alive that can break a curse it's Naruto. Besides you've got the slug contract... If you need anything you can call. And I expect letters once a month. Understood?" She glared at that last part.

Naruto gulped. "Yes Ma'am!" He smiled and gave her one more hug. "I'll miss you..." His voice dropped to a whisper, "Kaa-san."

Tsunade wiped a tear from her eye before ruffling the younger blond's hair. "Same... Son... Now go on and get before we make you stay." They broke apart and smiled. Naruto gave Shizune a quick hug before departing off to parts unknown.

Shizune looked at her master and best friend and sighed, "It's going to lonely with out him..."

Tsunade couldn't respond and merely turned and walked back to the hotel they were staying at.

...

2 weeks later Naruto found himself on the outskirts of Rice Country. HE wandered aimlessly lacking a real purpose when he was stopped by a noise. More specifically a long string of curses.

"Mother fucking piece of shit asshole! Damn the cock suckers lucky throw with an explosive tag!" Naruto, being the inquisitive person he is wandered towards the voice coming upon a red headed girl a couple years older then leg laying on the ground bleeding, her left leg torn open. He smiled a bit, finally something to do!

With hands in the air he stepped into the small clearing. "Excuse me, but would you need some help?"

Tayuya, (as if you didn't know), whirled around at the voice, her eyes narrowed. "What do you want shit head?" She growled out, attempting and failing utterly at looking threating.

Naruto sighed, "I'm a medic looking for something to do."

Tayuya paused at that, "Your... a bored medic?"

Naruto shrugged and dropped his hands to side and walked over to her and without waiting for permission got the work on her leg. Her admittedly smooth and milky white leg... Which was so soft despite the damage... And, he shook his head clearing it of the thoughts, a slight blush adorning his cheeks. "Something like that... So your a ninja I assume?"

Tayuya missed the blush or she might have castrated the blond. "What gave it away dumb ass?"

"The award winning display of stealth by shouting your position to the world." He said with a playful grin. If looks could kill though, he'd be a smoking hole.

"Ass fucker... Bah... I can't believe I got this hurt." She said crossing her arms in defeat. The blond obviously wasn't going away soon and besides, he seemed to be doing his job well. And was far less creepy then Kabuto.

Naruto shrugged, "Eh, it ain't that bad really, mostly tissue damage. Won't even scar. So what village you from?"

Tayuya looked him over. "Why do you want to know?"

Another shrug from the blond, "Bored, looking for work and training. Consider this my resume." He said finishing up on her leg before standing up, offering a hand to her. One she begrudgingly accepted.

"Well... I guess I could take you to Orochimaru-Sama..." Naruto froze, he had heard nothing but bad things about Orochimaru from Tsunade and Jiraiya, but then he shrugged it off. He'd rather judge with his own eyes first. After all there's a side to every story.

He grinned at the red head. "Sounds like fun... By the way my names Naruto. You are?"

"..Tayuya?"

"Well all right then Tayuya-chan, lead the way!" He proclaimed in an overly dramatic fashion, ignoring his new traveling companions eyes twitch ever so slightly.

...

-2 years 8 months later, Naruto Age 15 years-

The Snake Sannin had been wary of Naruto initially, but was not about to give up the chance at acquiring a jinchuuriki. He had taken to teaching Naruto the intricacies of Sound Jutsu, and through that a greater appreciation of music. Say what you will about the man but he knows his Musicals. But somehow the boy had managed to worm his way into the snakes twisted and depraved heart, a feat thought unthinkable. He even let the boy sign his Snake contract and taught him the jutsu's that went with it!

Oh sure they had their differences, mostly on the matters of human experimentation, but that was primarily carried out on Oto prisoners and traitors. Wardrobe was another thing they diverted on, no matter how much he tried Orochimaru could not convince Naruto of the wonders of the 'Ass-Bow'. Despite what you might think about him the man knew how to run a village. After spending time with the young jinchuuriki he'd even begun to rationalize attacking Konoha and gaining immortality better. Not by much but we'll take improvements where we can get them. The sneaky blond had even managed to steal the heart of one of his Sound Four. Not that a casual observer could tell though. The two made a wicked battle combination, Naruto had taken to playing a violin in combat much the way Tayuya used a flute. Together they could create illusions Orochimaru himself had trouble breaking out of.

Today though, today was the day the gennins were graduating and Naruto had politely declined the opportunity. "Being a shinobi of a Hidden Village isn't for me.. Yet. I want to see the world, listen to the stories, the music and knowledge it has to offer before I tie myself down."

Orochimaru nodded to his apprentice, "I understand... And I applaud you figuring it out now instead of being forced to go Missing nin. I do hope Oto will be high in your list of potential villages."

Naruto laughed, "Higher then Konoha!" They both laughed at that. Naruto held no real love for the place. Not even after traveling with Jiraiya and Tsunade. Mind you his adoptive mother wasn't a huge fan of the place either, especially after how she heard they had treated Naruto. "But thanks for letting Tayu-Chan come with me, obligation free."

The Snake Sannin grinned, "It's less paper work then marking her as a missing nin. She would undoubtedly follow you after all. Now go on, you know she doesn't like to be kept waiting." They both shuddered ever so slightly at that.

Naruto started to head out then turned around briefly, "I'm meeting Kaa-san and Ero-Sannin at the Chunnin Exams in 6 months. You'll undoubtedly be there.. Somehow... So look me up. It'll be a twisted reunion of sorts."

The Snake grinned at the prospect. Naruto had, wisely, not informed the other 2 Sannin just who he had been training with in his letters. Oh well, who doesn't love surprises?

...

Naruto ran up to the gate, grinning at the waiting red head. She scowled at him, but softened her smile slightly. "Where to next?"

Naruto pulled out a worn and slightly tattered scroll, opening it up to a slightly faded name and address. "I gotta see a man about a sword." He said with a grin looking out past the fields towards the horizon. Tomorrow was shaping up to be a fascinating new day.

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A/N: GAH and I finish! Originally there was more intended for the first chapter, and it was in itself gonna be way different. But I like how it turned out here in the end and I hope you readers do to. I think it works better this way anyways... Sorry if people seem OOC (Orochimaru) but hey this is a fanfic and automatically AU in my POV. So deal.

Fun facts: Naruto is 15 and wields all 3 f the Sannin summon contracts!

Notable Techniques:

Rasengan

Hidden Snake Hands

Miscellaneous Medical Techniques.

Summoning

Decent Level of kenjutsu

Hidden Mist no Jutsu

Skilled Sound Jutsu (Both Nin and Gen)

Moderate level of Taijutsu

And thats all you really need to know for now.. more will be revealed later!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Here comes chapter 2! hope you guys are enjoying reading this and thanks for all the reviews! I have plans.. fun plans... for this fic.

**Chapter 1 – Hit the Floor**

-4 Months later-

Kakashi grunted and pushed his kunai against the massive blade his opponent was wielding. He would admit he drastically underestimated the Demon of the Mist, a mistake that would be rectified through many hours of training. Provided he lived long enough to that is.

Zabuza hadn't had this much fun in such a long time. He looked at his opponent, someone truly worthy to fight, Sharingan Kakashi and grinned. Well, not that the casual observer could tell that with the face mask and all. He noted briefly how his chakra levels were lowering and the mist was fading a bit. He glanced over at the dome of Ice Mirrors and smiled at the sight of two of the leaf ninjas slumped on the ground, their bodies riddles with senbon.

Kakashi followed Zabuza's glance and swore. "I'm sure this has been fun. But it's time to end this. Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Earth Tracking Fang!" A group of nin dogs burst from the ground grabbing Zabuza and holding him in place. "Be honored, you get to see my only original technique, Raikiri!" Kakashi said charging up the lightning blade.

Zabuza smiled as he saw the end approaching. He glanced over to where Haku was, his surrogate son racing towards him, probably to take the blow before him.

In the ice domes Sasuke looked over at the fallen Sai and noted he was still breathing. The masked nin they had been fighting had suddenly relented in his assault and turned to run away. Sasuke swore and grabbed a kunai, "no one insult me like this and gets away with it!" HE yelled out before throwing the blade, catching the nin in the back. The kunai going straight through his heart.

Both Haku and Zabuza bit back sadness as their respective ends drew near, wishing they had gotten to see their last family member one more time. And with another breath, the lives of Zabuza and Haku Momochi ended.

Team 7 breathed a collective sigh of relief, a feeling that shattered as the mist cleared to show a short pudgy man clapping, surrounded by a small army of mercenaries. "Looks like I'm saved the trouble of dealing with the baby demon myself." Sasuke, Sai, Sakura and Tazuna all fell back to where Kakashi was at the end of the bridge. With a sneer Gato and his mercenaries advanced forward, pausing at Haku's body. With a sneer the fat man raised his chubby leg up intending to kick the corpse. "You you damaged my hands fool. Now look at who-" **THUNK** Gato was interrupted by a sack smacking him in the back of the head. He looked down to see the two heads of the samurai he had sent after the bridge builders daughter roll out, horrified expressions on their faces.

"You wouldn't believe the things people do. Why those two fools were about to do unspeakable things to a poor woman and kill her child... And now you were about to desecrate the body of someone worth far more then you ever will be." Gato turned to see who had the audacity to talk to him this way, as did everyone else on the bridge. What they saw was a tall blond, about Kakashi's height with piercing blue eyes. HE wore a long black open cloak revealing a bare, toned chest underneath. A necklace with a green gem hanging around his neck. If they had been closer they would have seen 4 rings on his hand, the one on the left index and pinky finger with the kanji for Power and Knowledge respectively, the ones on his right thumb and ring finger with the kanji for Heal and Protect. A slug tattoo over his heart was visible, along with a tattoo of a violin on his left wrist. A large white zanbato, and over sized scroll adorned his back. However all of that was lost in the look of utter contempt and hatred on his otherwise handsome features.

The Konoha ninja were on guard at the entrance of this new party and unsure where he stood. Gato was arrogantly unworried as ever. The portly mobster sneered at the blond teen. "And what can you do about it kid?"

The blond smiled a cruel, and unforgiving smile. "I was going to play you a song... Would you like to here it?" His lips curled upward as a violin poof'd into his hands. He touched the instrument to his chin, and the bow to the strings. "I call this little piece Call of the Shriekers." He grinned and drew his bow across the strings. The most horrible shrieking sound emanated from the instrument. The mercenary army fell to ground clutching their now bleeding ears. Gato dropped to his knees looking at the blond fearfully as he drew closer. "For you though... One who prides himself on his own repugnant (A/N: Theres an awesome word not used nearly enough eh?) sins... I have something special." He touched his bow to the strings yet again and whispered so only Gato could hear. "Requiem of the Damned."

A beautiful, haunting musical number started to play as the world faded from the mobsters view. The ghosts of all those he had had killed, directly or indirectly, coming from the ground clawing at him, pulling him closer.

In the real world the fat midget started to claw at his eyes and ears as blood seeped from every opening on his body. Naruto watched on, a grim smile on his face as his eyes had slitted, and red chakra danced across his instrument. After an ear piercing shriek of pain Gato fell over, a dead, bloody mess. The Konoha nin and Tazuna just stared at the young blond, they had no idea what to make of someone who just killed someone with music. They were broken from their reverie when a crowd of villagers showed up lead by Inari.

Naruto smiled softly at the red headed girl following the young wave boy. "Told ya' you little shit. He had it perfectly under control." She said walking through the crowd to Naruto's side. She looked over towards the Konoha nins. "Ugh, weak minded Leaf Fuckers. Guessing they were useless as all hell?"

Naruto sighed at his girlfriend, "Oh no, they were quite useful. The jounin killed my father, and the dark haired bitch killed my brother by stabbing him in the back as he left to help my father." Naruto shot the ninjas in question a withering glare. He bent down and gently picked up the body of his brother. "For all your talent, your peaceful soul was not meant for a world as violent as ours. May you find peace in eternal rest Brother." He stood, the body in his arms and walked to Zabuza's body, straight past Team 7, Tayuya following him, sparing only a sneer at the Leaf nins. He gently laid the bodies side by side and sighed.

Sasuke glared at the blond, how dare he waltz in here with a display of power that should only be fit for an elite Uchiha such as himself, and to have the gall to call him a Bitch on top of that!

Sakura was torn between running in fear from the blond, a rightly earned fear to seeing as he brought down a small army of mercenaries in one move. Or defending her crush. Luckily for her, the conflicting emotions forced her to stay stock still in place.

Only Kakashi had the right amount of worry, the boy obviously had power and had just referred to the two missing nins as family. Family he just helped kill. He swore mentally his hands drifting closer to his kunai holder, if worst came to worst he would hold him off while his students escaped. He narrowed his visible eye at the blond's back, "And who might you be?"

Naruto turned and faced Kakashi, looking him over. "Someone who is not to be trifled with." His gaze softened slightly though, "Bah, it's to much effort to be angsty. I shall chock this up to bad luck. Father would understand that better then most... Honor at its finest in my opinion. Hmm..." He paused and stroked his chin looking over the Copy nin before snapping his fingers, "Ah! That's who you are, Sharingan Kakashi right? Ero-Sannin said good things of you... Hebi-Oji-san also had nothing but rants and raves about how lucky you were... As for who I am? That's a loaded question is it not? Who are any of us but that which others perceive us to be? By that logic Hatake-san, who do you think I am?"

Kakashi's eye twitched ever so slightly, "...At this moment and unknown and increasingly irritating pain in the ass."

Naruto nodded sagely. "I strive to be so. But as I believe your original question was not the existential sense but more specifically my name, I shall give it to you. Being the polite and abiding person I am. My name Cyclops-san, is Naruto Uzumaki-Momochi-Namikaze. Well... Something like that, I was born as Uzumaki, then adopted to be a Momochi and found out later I was born by a Namikaze. So why not use all three?" Tayuya resisted the urge to face palm. Her lover was... Quirky to say the least, these random moods of philosophical inspiration had started out quite irritating to her. Mind you she found them something of a turn on now.

Kakashi stepped back, visible eye wide. "N-Naruto? As in-"

Naruto flashed a toothy grin, "Ah so you know who I am? Tell me, do they still celebrate the day I went missing?"

Kakashi groaned mentally, that confirmed it, or at least made it plausible. This was most likely the lost jinchuuriki of Kyuubi, but more importantly to the silver haired jounin, the son of his sensei Minato Namikaze. He scrutinized the boy and sighed in resignation. Either the kid was the best actor alive, or he had no ill will towards the Konoha group. "I guess then... I am sorry..." It was taking all he had not to crush the boy in a hug and beg forgiveness for being off duty the one night it mattered, the night of Naruto's kidnapping.

Naruto smiled, though his eyes displayed an inner sadness. "Think nothing of it Scarecrow-san. I hold the man responsible for their deaths Gato... And I dealt with him. In this world of deception, lies, murder and assassination, things like this happen disturbingly often. It was simply your job, as it was Fathers. I will not hold it against you." He stopped and sent a chilling glare at the Uchiha, "Him however, he stabbed someone in the back who was fleeing and no longer a threat... A senseless death... Do not worry though as long as he remains a Leaf nin I shall not seek his end. Mind you even if isn't one in the future I still wont' seek.. What a dreadfully boring life that would be? I mean sure if the opportunity arises his ass is grass..." He paused then scratched his head with a sheepish smile, and glanced at Tayuya, "I'm rambling again aren't I Tayu-chan ?"

"As always." She said giving him a slight smirk. The crowd at this point seeing there was no immediate need for them, after a sigh of relief dissipated back to their homes. Talk of the young blond spreading through them.

Naruto looked back at Kakashi, "I'm sure you have questions... If you meet me at the bridge builders house later I will answer them. And as a show of good faith..." He paused and walked up to Kakashi, his hands glowing an emerald green. He quickly healed a few of the external injuries then smiled, "I can finish that job later to... But for now I would like to be alone with my family."

The Copy Nin nodded and ushered his team and Tazuna back to the house. Sasuke turning around to give Naruto an arrogant glare one last time, before returning to his general angstyness. As the bridge cleared cleared of people Naruto turned and sat before the bodies of the ones he would call family lying next to each other. His face darkened, "I'm sorry Aniki, Otousan... If I had been here earlier..."

Tayuya came up softly behind the blond softly squeezing his shoulder before draping her arms around him, hugging his back. She rested her head on his shoulder and whispered softly, "It's all right to cry you know." So cry he did.

....

Several hours later the duo showed up at the door of Tazuna's home. Tsunami smiled as she saw her saviors arrive thanking them again. Naruto called out Kakashi fully healed his wounds. The Copy Nin was impressed to say the least. "Thanks... I feel better then ever. Or lately at least."

Naruto smiled back, "I was taught by the best... Anyways we are alone now, I suppose you would ask me things?"

Kakashi sighed and slumped into a chair. "Those whisker marks... The hair and eyes..."

Naruto nodded, "Yes... They mark me as the legacy of Minato Namikaze, the Yondaime Hokage and more importantly my Father. Well, biologically speaking."

Kakashi's head dropped down. "I am... So sorry Naruto. I can't help but think I've failed you... Forgoing my watch for some stupid reason..."

Naruto raised a hand cutting him off, "Regrets are like ocean water Hatake-san. Abundant but ultimately useless to you. Besides, I suspect my life has been much better then it could be. Konoha was not... The most pleasant of places for me."

Kakashi smiled, not that one could tell with the mask on, at that. "I suppose not... We sure aren't in the habit of practicing what we preach. I still wish I could have done better though, your father was my teacher..."

The blond smirked, "Indeed... Hmm, Hatake-san-"

"Kakashi..." The cycloptic jounin said.

"Kakashi-san then, I am... A lover of knowledge, and stories." He grinned at this, "Especially life stories. I find them to be fascinating, and I enjoy passing them on to others. I believe some once called me a Bard... Anyways, I propose a trade. I will tell you of my life so far, if you tell me what you know of my Father... And Mother."

Kakashi eye smiled, "I would be delighted, though I must ask you to come back to Konoha with us when we are done this mission."

The young jinchuuriki considered it, "I suppose... I was meeting up with people there in a couple months anyways. I guess it wouldn't hurt to be a little early. But enough of that... Anyways, my tale begins a few hours after I was taken from Konoha..." (A/N: And this would be a fadeout) The pair spent the night trading stories and telling tales. The next day, Naruto in a fit of impatience summoned a small army of shadow clones, around 200, and got them to finish building the bridge, much to the unrestrained joy of Tazuna. Needless to say the boy would always have a job open in the construction industry. 2 days after that the group left bound for Konohagakure, making a short stop at the slab of stone that marked the graves of Zabuza and Haku Momochi, Naruto had sealed his fathers sword away remarking he wouldn't leave the thing that reminded him most of his family out for any sword hunter to find, and that it'd look great over a fireplace. A guaranteed conversation starter for any future house mates, for any future house, he may have.

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A?N: BAH and finished! Sorry if its an awkward chapter... But I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with it for the longest time. Hope you enjoyed it...

Do remember to leave a review if you liked, or didn't like it. Always looking for good criticism to improve.

Next Chapter: Err, Something in Konoha! -insert dramatic music-

Hmm, heres a quick question that I could use an idea for. Should Rin be alive? (If she is she will most likely be married to Kakashi)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: And here comes the third chapter of Tales of a Bardic Ninja. Not a lot to say here... just I hope you enjoy! Stats update will be at the end of the chapter.

**Chapter 3 – How do you Like Me Now?**

The small group of ninjas were a day away from Konoha's gates, enjoying a nice leisurely walk back. Kakashi and Naruto were in front, Tayuya trailing them by a few feet, and gennin took up in the back. Naruto and Kakashi had been getting along quite well, making up for lost time so to speak.

"So your married eh? To my Father's other student?" Naruto said, a smile adorning his face.

Kakashi eye smiled, "Indeed, we got married four years ago."

"I take it she proposed to you."

"...Yes, but that is entirely irrelevant."

"Well, good to know who wears the pants in the family. You got kids?" Naruto cringed as he could almost hear the smile Kakashi gave him.

"Yup! Three year old twins. A boy named Akihiko, and a girl named Aeka." Naruto raised a hand to cut him off.

"Lets skip the overly proud father routine and you can show me the pictures of my niece and nephew now, k?"

Kakashi beamed and whipped out a small photo album and gave it to the blond, but he paused in his thought process for a moment. "Wait, Niece and Nephew?"

"Meh, I mean... You were trained by my Father, as was their mother. So that makes you guys family, I mean Ero-Sannin would never shut up about my Dad and how he treated his students like children, right Aniki?" Naruto said flipping through the small album. If one looked close enough there was a small sad twinge to his smile.

"Hmmm, you trust easily... Otouto."

Naruto shrugged, rolling his ivory colored zanbato in the process, "I like to think I'm an exceptionally good judge at character. Though I imagine with my own prior associations and upbringings, others might not think so. So I don't know if you should be flattered or not Aniki."

The Copy Nin merely shrugged his shoulder, they continued forward for a while longer before Kakashi glanced back behind them. It was relatively quiet after all. He noted his three gennin, Sasuke glaring a hole into the back of Naruto's head, Sai just walking along with that ever creepy smile of his, Sakura constantly asking for a date. Though he noted that the pinkette was slightly more subdued, and she seemed to be glancing at the two newcomers every so often, glaring at Tayuya the most. Probably under the misguided assumption that the only reason another female could possibly have for being here would be to steal her Sasuke-kun. Kakashi flickered his eye to the older girl and paused. She had her face buried into a volume of Icha Icha. His gloved hand flew towards his kunai pouch, feeling the comforting weight of his volume, he turned back to his newly acknowledged younger brother. "What... She... Icha..."

Naruto glanced back to his girlfriend, who looked up at him, licking her lips behind the book. HE turned back to Kakashi, "Ah, it is her favorite literary work. When she found out that Ero-Sannin had been mailing me the first editions of all the new volumes only for me to ignore them she demanded them for herself. I was of course all to happy to oblige, my own opinion on the validity of it as a valid literary work not withstanding she enjoys reading them, and I most certainly would never deny the opportunity of literature to anyone. Especially with the oh so wonderful benefits of having a girlfriend who loved Icha Icha." The blond winked at the older man. "Kami she's so... Soft, in all the right places."

"Just like your hard in all the right places." She piped up form behind them.

Kakashi stared at Naruto, then at Tayuya, then back at Naruto. "Has anyone told you your a lucky bastard recently?"

Naruto stroked his chin thoughtfully, "I would put that particular phrase and any other verbatim pertaining to my own 'luck' as an average of 23.5 times a week."

"Has any one told you your annoying?"

"That's a 78.3 weekly average." He flashed a foxy grin at the silver haired jounin, who merely sighed.

"Rin will love you."

"Not to much I hope, hate to break up a family and what not." They both stared at each other, before laughing.

They walked the rest of the day in a companionable silence. That night, after a healthy application of sound cancellation seals, Tayuya put her new reading material to the test in her and Naruto's shared tent. Several hours later the nude, sweaty pair laid panting on top of their sleeping bag. Naruto smiled down at the red haired teen on his chest. He softly stroked her hair as she nuzzled up closer to his chest. "So... Back to Konoha huh? It's gonna be... Interesting."

Tayuya looked up at him, her dark eyes meeting his, "We could always leave... But I'm kind of interested in going. Lot's of famous names have come from there and I'm interested in seeing where the place they called home."

Naruto nodded as he continued to play with her hair. "I guess, I mean I don't remember much..."

"Bull fucking shit. You have perfect memory."

"OK, I was 4, I wasn't exactly running around the place trying to get to know it. I had just been kicked out of the orphanage when I was kidnapped. I remember people avoiding me like the plague... Whole demon thing I suppose. The only interaction I had with anyone was when the amount of alcohol overrode any fear they might have and set them after the 'demon child.' Not like any of the pricks caught me though." He grinned at that, twirling red locks of hair with his fingers.

The former sound nin smirked and rubbed his chest, "Well... Konoha shouldn't be to bad... I mean you and that Kakashi guy are getting along pretty well."

"Indeed, he offered to put us up when we get there. Supposedly his wife won't mind."

"Cool, free is always a good price." She brought her hands together and rested her chin on them, looking up at the younger teen. Who smiled and laughed.

"God your cheap. I mean... With recent book sales coming in, and add in the fact I'm like... The best gambler on the planet you know we don't have to worry about money."

She grinned, reach and twisted his nipple. "Don't mock me... Or no sex for a week."

"Psh, Like you can keep your hands off me." He grinned as she elbowed him. "What? I only speak the truth."

"Yeah... And damn you for it. Anyways, we're getting side tracked... We'll be there for a couple months right?" He nodded, "Why so early?"

"Eh, convenience mostly. I mean we did bump into a leaf team... Besides I need to train up a new summoner. Or rather, I imagine it's closer to finishing training." He scratched his chin then shrugged.

"Yeah you told me about that... something about the scaly little fuckers wanting a proper summoner back in Konoha."

"Yeah. Orochi-ojisan kinda fell out of favor with them. The whole screwing over relations with the Toads thing, and moving them to Rice. They like Konoha, most of them being tree and jungle snakes." He laughed again, "They love me... Trained me in the arts of a true snake summoner after I repaired relations with the other of the 'Konoha Big 3' summons. Though they would like me to at the very least, move back to fire country eventually."

Tayuya nodded, "But you don't guarantee that."

"Heh, no... I mean it might happen. But I don't want to settle down just yet... And if I die out in the middle of some Iwa field they'll get stuck accepting a new summoner from Orochimaru, and they don't want to risk it. Nice of them to give me that minor Kusanagi. It is the mark of a full snake summoner. I imagine when Orochi-ojisan dies the snakes will give his sword to me. Or pass it on to the summoner I choose depending on my current living situation."

"Shame you favor that _thing_ you claim to be a sword instead of a katana."

"I can use a katana I just... Don't. Sides, I like all the perks Kagamai Kitsune* gives me in a fight."

"Mm, sure... Well have you thought about looking for another girl while we're in Konoha?"

The blond sighed, "You won't give up on that will you? I'm happy with you... I love you..."

Tayuya closed her eyes and smiled, "And that makes me happy... But I know what your dream is. And you know I can't help with parts of it."

"There are ways around that..."

"It's not the same and you know it... Besides you know I'd be more comfortable with another woman around."

"Yeah you had me dating Kin with back in Oto. Shame she's a crazy bitch. And not the fun kind like you are."

"Okay, I'll admit Oto didn't have good choices... But It's always been both our dreams to have a big family, and dammit I want a sister that I can swap sex stories about with. Not to mentions there are a few things I wanna try on you that require the presence of another woman." They both blushed at that.

As the blush faded Naruto sighed, "Fine I'll be open to other options then. But only if you approve first."

"Hmm, knowing you it'll be some rough and tough on the outside but broken on the inside girl."

"Like you?"

"Indeed... You seem to have a way of fixing things..." She trailed off slightly, a small trail of blood leaving her nose.

"What are you thinking of?"

"You. In nothing but a tool belt." Naruto grinned at that and kissed the top of her head, the hand that had been in hair trailing down her body, eventually curving into an, ahem, _tight, _space. She moaned and looked at him. "Your right. Enough talking..."

Needless to say it was another few hours before sleep claimed them, and such a good sleep it was to.

....

It had been 2 days since Naruto and Tayuya entered the leaf, and as expected Naruto and Rin got along swimmingly, both going over the pros and cons over their significant other being Icha fans. The twins loved the blond, it probably helped he loved kids. Well, the nice playful non-bratty ones at least. But now, our epic hero was wandering through Konoha alone looking for a sign on a snake summoner. This was how he did everything in life after all, wander aimlessly and wait for something to happen. Hey, it had worked so far hadn't it?

He sighed both hands clasped behind his head, looking towards the sky. He grunted as he felt something hit him in the back. He turned around to see a little kid with a ridiculously long scarf on the ground glaring up at him. "Hey! How dare you ambush me!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You ran into me punk."

The kid glared at him, "Lies! You tried to attack me! The Hokage's grandson!" Konohamaru smirked inwardly, his victory assured. He could hear Ebisu-sensei coming, the special jounin would have no problem putting this kid in his place for daring to assault him.

Naruto bent down the vertically challenged child's height, "Kid, the Rikudo Sannin could drop down from the after life and name you as the next chosen one and I still wouldn't give a flying fuck. Now bugger off, ain't it nap time?"

"Stay away from the honorable grandson you ruffian!" Naruto sighed as the sunglass wearing teacher came running up to them, he was about straighten and tell this irritant off as well, he felt a small tug from the necklace around his neck, and watched as the little pip squeak ran off with it in his hands.

"Ha! See if you can do anything to me now!" The scarf wearing child yelled as he ran off into Konoha's streets. Naruto just stood stock still, his eye twitching at a rapidly increasing rate.

_'That little shit stole my necklace, the necklace my Kaa-san gave me. The little shit stole. MY. NECKLACE.' _"YOUR DEAD GAKI!" Naruto growled, biting his thumb and swiping it along the snake tattoo on his forearm. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" A large poof of smoke and Naruto was standing on top of a 40 foot long rattlesnake. His personal snake summon named Asmodeus, "Assy, a little shit stain Gaki just stole my necklace. We're gonna track him down and get it back."

The snake looked up at his master and friend. "And after we catch him Masster?"

Naruto looked down at the snake, one of his three favorite summons, and smiled. Not a nice smile that gets you remembered in grocery stores, the chilling smile someone gives you after they've gone on and explained how they tracked you through four states and killed all your friends, and now kill you all because of something you did last summer. "We'll think of something."

The serpent grinned, as much as a giant rattlesnake CAN grin, before flicking it's tongue out and and heading after the young, soon to be in great pain thief. Ebisu's brain processed the scene before him. First his young charge had accosted, and then stolen from the tall blond, who had proceeded to summon the biggest rattlesnake he had ever seen, and one that would undoubtedly haunt his dreams, and tear off after the Hokage's grandson. So the special jounin did the only rational thing any babysitter does in this kind of crazed situation. Call the parents, or in this case grandparent.

With a puff of smoke he arrived in the Hokage's office, "Sir! Someone is attacking your grandson!"

A pair of Anbu, Eagle and Badger, also puffed in. "Hokage-sama, there are sightings of a large snake summon in town." Now had any of these three paid attention to the room they were in they would have noticed him talking to one Mitarashi Anko, he perked at the mention of a snake summon.

Ebisu continued, "Yeah! That's the one. He summoned a giant rattlesnake and took after your Honorable Grandson."

The snake mistress raised an eyebrow and decided to make herself known, "Excuse me, how big was this snake and did you catch it's name?"

Ebisu, finally noticing the other tokebetsu jounin raised an eyebrow. "I didn't catch the name, but I estimate it at around 40 to 50 feet long."

Sarutobi sighed, this was not the kind of wacky shit he needed to deal with today. First his secretary dumped a massive load of paperwork, and then he had Anko asking about her duties as a proctor at the upcoming Chunnin exams, and now giant snakes? Wonderful. He pulled out his crystal ball and locate the large snake in a clearing. "Let's go straighten this out so I can return to the _joys_ of paperwork." Apparently even aged military leaders partake in sarcastic Wednesday, who knew?

...

In a small training field Naruto had caught up and captured the impudent little thief and was currently dangling him over the maw of a rather happy looking Asmodeus. "So, Gaki. What have we learned today?"

Konohamaru was scared, this day had been going so well to. "N-n-never steal?"

"Good. And never piss off your betters. Should I feed you to Asmodeus?" Naruto grinned sadistically and made to drop the child.

"Ah! Please no! Pleeeaaaaseeeee-" He heard a sigh and was dropped to the ground, the young ninja wannabe looked at the teen.

"Bah, you'd give my snake indigestion. Just, learn from your idiotic mistakes and never repeat them. You should get far." Konohamaru nodded. A small hurricane-esque swirl of leaves signified the arrival of the Hokage, 2 Anbu, Ebisu and Anko. Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Yes?"

Ebisu fumed, "You monster! How dare you attack the Honorable grandson!"

The blond showed an epic lack of uncaring, "You mean the Gaki thief? I just taught him a very important life lesson."

Hiruzen Sarutobi just sighed. "Hell Naruto-kun. You know when I said I'd like to see you again this isn't quite what I meant."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Eh well, it's your brat's fault." He paused and looked at the gathered shinobi, focusing on Anko. _'Hmm, she smells of snake. Maybe Ojiisans last apprentice? Must be the Anko girl he told me of. If I remember correctly, and I always do, she has a prototype Heaven seal. Barbaric things they are. Wonder if she wants it off? Should see if she's worthy for the proper Snake contract to since she appears loyal enough.' _"Excuse me, are you Mitarashi-san?"

Anko blinked once, then twice. "Uh, yes. Why?"

"I have business with you. Was actually kind of looking for you." He smiled, "Always said wandering gets you farther then people care to admit."

The Hokage sighed, "I'll leave you two to your business then. Konohamaru-kun, you should know better then to steal. Naruto-kun, I do hope you will join us fr dinner tonight."

Naruto nodded, "Sure. I'll bring Tayu-chan with me." He smiled slightly as the Hokage, Ebisu, the 2 Anbu and Konohamaru all disappeared in a swirl of leaves. He re-focused his attention onto Anko. "So, I have matters of a summoning kind to discuss with you."

The purple haired kunoichi crossed her arms and scowled slightly. "And I would like to know how you summon snakes."

"Same reason you can. We were taught by the same man after all." He smiled and gently stroked Asmodeus's head as he spoke.

She growled at him, "Give me one good reason I shouldn't gut you right here and now then?"

Naruto sighed in mock exasperation. "How about several? First, I can remove that barbaric curse seal. Two, a few things provided, I can make you master snake summoner. Something Our esteemed former teacher isn't. And 3, I dunno the giant snake summon I have sitting beside me?"

She stared at him, "Explain number two."

He shrugged, "Easy enough. Orochi-chan has fallen out of favor with snakes. They were loyal to fire country and he moved them out. Then he used several of them for dissection and experimentations. That didn't blow over to well with them. I mean sure he's gotten marginally better these days but still. They even started charging him sacrifices to use them."

Anko raised an eyebrow, "They don't do that to you?"

"Pfft, they love me. I repaired relations between them and Slugs and Toads, promised to find someone worthy of summoning them in fire country... And I refuse to wear that goddamn creepy fucking Ass-Bow." He shuddered at the visual memory. "Anyways, I figure you don't use them enough for them to know you right?"

Anko tipped her head in a slight nod.

"Yeah, I imagine that curse seal doesn't help. They are quite wary of it..." He sighed and dismissed Asmodeus with a wave. "So what do you say?"

Anko was torn. She wasn't totally sure she could trust the blond... It all seemed to good to be true. "Can I think about it?"

Naruto shrugged. "Sure."

"Stop by Area 44 tonight... There's a tower in the middle where I live." She looked him up and down a bit, "And bring dango."

Naruto laughed at that. "Fine. I'll be there after I finish supper with the Sandaime this evening."

They nodded at each other, "See you then." She said before disappearing in a swirl of leaves. Naruto sighed before disappearing in a swirl of wind and music. Tonight would be most interesting.

...............

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A/N: And thus ends chapter 3! Hope you enjoyed it... I think I can safely say the 'official' pairing of this is Naru/Tayu/Anko. Why is Tayuya wiling to share? She has her reasons... that'll become clear next chapter... probably. Naruto's snake summon.. is pretty much the Snake version of Gamakichi, in so much as it's Naruto's personal summon and will probably be the boss someday.

Fun facts: Naruto has 3 personal summons, Gamakichi, Asmodeus and a slug we haven't seen yet.

The name of Asmodeus from a viper in the book _Redwall._ He's a rattlesnake, a diamond back to be specific. Why? Cause they are just cool.

It may or may not be clear but Orochimaru and Naruto have a very... unique relationship/ They like and respect each other, but they don't really trust each other. Interacting with other is like some sort of giant game of chess. Naruto simply introduced Orochimaru to far more subtle means of ruling as opposed to violence and fear making him a far more skilled 'opponent' so to speak.

*Kagamai Kitsune means Mirror fox.

Anyhow... [please review and enjoy!

Oh before I forget... 2 chapters (not including this one), 25 reviews, 8 C2s, 35 Favs, 61 Alerts. WOoT


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: And here we come back to Bard, my apparently least popular story. Judging by its stats anyways. Though I'm hoping that some of the readers of my other stories will come check out this one... Hmm, Sorry again for taking SO damn long to update, but if you read my other stories I believe I gave my reasons there...

**-Chapter 4 - **

"See, this is why I can't take you anywhere nice." Naruto said, his arm wrapped around his red headed lover as they walked away from the Sarutobi compound.

"Stow it fuck face." Tayuya grumbled, her arms crossed in a childish display of violence.

"I mean, I figured you could act somewhat civilized at the house of the most powerful man in Konoha, but no. You pick a fight with his grandson." Naruto paused, then shrugged, "Annoying little bugger he is, not withstanding."

"The little pin sized fucker felt up my ass! The hell you expect me to do?!"

"Preferably NOT light him on fire."

"It was a little fire."

"You gave him 3rd degree burns on both arms Tayu-chan."

Tayuya sighed throwing her arms into the air, "It's not like they're still burned, you fixed him right up! He's fucking fine."

Naruto sighed, "He's most likely going to develop a pathological fear of fire for the rest of his life now."

A snort from the redhead, "Maybe he'll learn not to be a little perverted shit head in the future! And weren't you the one who threatened to feed him to a giant snake?"

The blond glanced away whistling innocently. "I'm sure I don't know what your talking about."

Tayuya let out a quick snort, "If he keeps pulling stupid shit on us we'll have him so well trained."

The jinchuuriki laughed, "I dunno, judging from the smell from when you turned him into a human sparkler I'd say he isn't housebroken yet."

"Think the Hokage will have us back anytime soon?"

Naruto stroked his chin with his free hand, "Umm, He might have Me back sometime, I mean, I'm likable after all."

Tayuya turned and gave him a disbelieving glare. "You? The guy who goes out of his way to annoy people?"

"Aww, c'mon. Everyone I do that deserves it. Besides if I'm such a pain in the ass why do you stay with me?"

"Your great in the sack. I mean like, a real step back DAMN that's great."

Naruto nodded sagely. "True true..." He grinned grabbing her chin and pulling her in for a long deep kiss. Tayuya smiled into it, slipping her tongue int his mouth with little resistance. They continued like that for several minutes before breaking apart for air. Naruto grinned hungrily at his girlfriend and leaned forward intent on capturing her lips once again when he froze.

Tayuya, who'd been anticipating more kissing frowned, "What?"

Naruto groaned, "Dango... Shit."

"Dango?"

He gave her an apologetic half shrug, "I kinda made plans with someone for after dinner tonight, and I promised to bring her dango."

Tayuya stepped back a bit and raised an eyebrow, "Her?"

"Mitarashi Anko. I figure she'd make a good snake summoner since she already has the basic contract."

Tayuya nodded in understanding, "Ah, Orochimaru's old apprentice." She paused and tapped her chin lightly. "She cute?"

A groan escaped the blond's lips. "Ugh again? Look I don't even know if she's single."

"Hey! All I asked is, Is she cute?"

"Ugh, Fine... Yes she is."

Tayuya nodded, "Mhmm... Well... I trust your judgment on these kinds of matters. Should I wait up for you?"

Naruto drummed his fingers, a habit he had picked up in Oto, "Eh, No. If all goes well I'll be removing a curse seal, enlightening her on her duties as a master summoner and so on..."

Tayuya nodded in understanding. "All right have fun... And don't hold back on my account." She said giving him a wink as she headed off back to the Hatake household. Naruto sighed as he watched her walk away, a slight smile coming to his lips. She truly was one of the best things that happened to him. After all how many girlfriends tell you to actively search out another girl?

An hour later found Naruto wandering the Forest of Death with a box full of dango tucked under an arm. A sharp chill ran through his spine, causing him to stop and take in his surroundings. He looked around the darkened forest, his bright blue eyes narrowing. Nothing seemed to out of place, though the deathly quiet was getting to him. His eyes flew open, it was to quiet. A quick snap of his hands and a Kage Bunshin  was standing next to him. He raised a hand, "Shh... We're being hunted."

The pair continued stalking through the dense shrubbery for a few minutes before Naruto's eyes locked onto something through the trees. A flash of purplish black scales. "Go! Run!"

Wide eyed the clone nodded and burst off into the forest. Naruto slowly drew a kunai and crept in closer, making out the full form of a snake summon. He narrowed his eyes and gripped the box of dango securely before slowly drawing back his weapon. As he finished taking aim he heard a rustle of leaves to his left. He swore as he saw a quick flash of purple hair. "Clever girl."

With a fierce cry Naruto was clotheslined by a purple and tan blur that burst from the left of him. 10 minutes of viscous growling, slashing and copious amounts of bleeding, a disheveled Anko sat triumphantly on top of a bruised and bloodied Naruto, the box of Dango in her hands. He sighed as he rolled the purple haired woman off him. "Damn it woman! They were for you anyways!"

Anko merely shrugged as she downed another stick of dumplings. "This was far more fun."

Naruto paused at that and shrugged. "True. I did enjoy the view." He grinned as he dodged a skewer aimed at his head. His grin grew wider at the pout she gave him before finishing off the rest of the box.

She lightly tossed the box behind her, walked up and stared into the blond's face. "So... You can get this curse seal off me?"

"Yup, I've done it before on one of his newer ones... So this should be a snap. Just take off your shirt an-" He paused as her jacket and mesh shirt flew past his face. She stood, topless, glaring at him with her arms crossed over her ample cleavage. "I guess you really want this off..."

He motioned for her to sit in a small clearing as he began to draw numerous intricate seals on her body. As he drew, they started talking, mostly about their former mentor Orochimaru. "...So he actually does a good job of ruling over Oto?"

"Shocking isn't it? I dare say I had a hand in that though."

"Oh? And what would that be." Naruto sat back a bit at the question.

"We had this game... It was huge and complicated, mixing seals and various technologies. But what it did, was put you in the position to lead a village. The winner was the person with the largest and richest village, or if the other had been destroyed." Anko raised an eyebrow at that.

"Sounds fun."

"It is... He never beat me either. Then I noticed him start to run his real village the way I ran my simulated one and well... The rest is history." He paused, "The opera thing is all him though."

They both laughed at that. Silence reigned for awhile, with odd shiver from Anko as the brush ran across her skin. "Do you like him?" She asked softly.

Naruto paused and shrugged again. "Sure, he's like the crazy uncle you like, but don't want to be seen in public with. Plus, he still does experimentations I'm not totally comfortable with but meh."

"I hate him..."

Naruto nodded, "I'm sure... I don't blame you for it either. Somethings should never be forgiven." He paused before smiling. "Well that's done... Let's remove this thing!" He grinned as he pulsed chakra through the seal array, slowly at first, before gradually rising in speed and amount. Anko was in pain, lots and lots of pain. Something Naruto had neglected to inform her would happen. But, it's not like he does these things constantly, he can't possibly be expected to remember all the side effects, like say, mind numbing pain followed by a brief spike in libido...

20 minutes later Naruto removed his hands from a seal free, and heavily panting Anko. "Is it over yet?" She said between breaths.

Naruto nodded with a smile. "It is, how are you feeling?"

She looked up at him and smiled lazily. "Better then ever... Though there is this itch I just can't seem to scratch."

"Oh? And where would that be?"

"Mmm... Before I answer that, are you single?" She asked, turning around to look him in the eyes.

'_Oh that kind of itch... Right Tayuya was like this when I took hers off to... Great...'_ "Single? No." Anko frowned at that, but Naruto continued. "I am however available... To those that don't mind sharing."

Anko raised an eyebrow at that, then leaned in and kissed him full on the lips. "I guess I could stand that."

...

Deep in Naruto's mind, a small chibi version of him danced around pumping his fist in the air.

...

Naruto smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around her back, _'Guess that snake summoning business can wait until morning...'_ He thought to himself, after all from the looks of things it was going to be a long busy night...

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A/N: Ugh I apologize for the crazy short chapter, It's only about half as long as a normal one... But I wasn't sure how to proceed... And the next 'portion' of the story I want to do would do better as a full chapter, not broken up between this one and another one... S sorry all... But hey I did update finally. Not sure when I'll update again... My two main Focus' are Blond and Hydra, Hydra being the main, seeing as I actually know how its gonna progress, end and hell I even know how I'm gonna do the sequel. Bard... Bard Is a much more random story, I have some ideas as to where its gonna go... Bah, Anyways I'll update... when I do. I apologize for the erratic update schedule I have but.. Deal. At least I haven't abandoned any of my stories (AND I NEVER WILL!) Till next chapter!


	5. Apologies and Updates

I would like to apologize to my faithful readers... I've said before I've been in the process of moving, and fact is I just now got settled in my new place. No internet access for the last two months. Ugh, something I never want to happen again.

In my netless time I had written new chapters for Bard, Storm, Blonds and Hydra, Glory and New Paths... and 3 days ago I started up my laptop, to the wonderfully dreadful black screen saying "Operating system not found." I'm not sure if I can fix the problem without, say wiping my computer over and starting again. In the process killing so many pages of writing.... I'm very pissed about that,

Very very VERY pissed off about that.

In other news I turned 20 last week. Yay for me.

Oh, I write this from my dads comp so I will get any Pms I'm sent.

Sorry to all, abd thanks goes out to those who pmed me to get off nmy lazy ass and write. Well I wasm so ha!

-Draton out


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